Trail Brain

In celebration of my recent two week reprieve in California from course work and general life responsibilities , I am posting a largely non-verbal entry for the New Year.

"lips" are sealed

It seems that I have a major case of "trail brain": a state often experienced after 20 + miles, where verbal communication can only occur in short spurts of light humor or blurts on the state of bodily functions.

(My current case is due to excessive chocolate and holiday cheer, rather than running related, but we'll let that slide.)

My guilty look

All that needs to be said is this:

Winter break was blissful.
I ran.

From my apartment building.


I ran some more.

How about some trails before I leave Oahu?


I went to San Francisco and I ran in a 6 hour race.

That's me all covered up like a ninja before the run.

50k, well sure!

I ran in Nevada

Where's the snow?

And then I came home to Hawaii. And I ran.

My favorite training route.

This week will be the start of my final semester in my masters program.  I do love university, and I feel endlessly grateful for the education I am receiving.  But I'll end with a favorite quote:

"The trail is a teacher like no other. It has no required reading, assignments, projects, or grades. It has no expectations. It has no prejudice or discrimination. It doesn't care about your socioeconomic class, age, gender, religious affiliation, race, ethnicity, education level, occupation, family name, the clothes you wear, or the car you drive. What a fantastic place for an individual to find out who she really is!" Preface, Becoming Odyssa

Running on Love

As I sit on my couch with my feet up, taking a moment to breathe and reflect and try to think of what to write, I find myself staring at my poster of the Ultra Maratón Caballo Blanco.  Or rather the poster seems to be staring at me.

photo courtesy of http://www.visitaurique.com/ultra-maraton/

I suppose I'm missing running...

The trails are calling me... but the couch is so cozy!

Okay, that probably sounds strange coming from someone who runs frequently... nearly daily, and who has run more, certainly farther than most people even consider possible.  

Here I am running in the Burning River 100 miler.  

Yup, I sure am smitten with that running thing.

And yet, I feel a bit of emptiness in my spirit where running usually resides.  I feel a twinge of heartache for running... 

As if running is a lost lover, who's eyes have begun to wander away while I was engrossed this past fall in studies and work and personal melodramas.

An example of what I've been currently engrossed in.  Running more t-tests than time trials.

I feel jilted by running... it's left me for some younger, energetic and longer legged track star.  Okay, enough harping.

I'm trying to remember that I often feel this way after an off-season or injury.  I try to remember that most runners probably feel this way during winter, or off-time.  

GRRRR!  ARGG!

Running frequently packs up for greener pastures while us endorphin junkies are left wondering if we can make friends with reading or napping or watching movies.

Oh cozy chair... Fine, I'll open a book.... or just check Facebook.

The good news is, rest is in fact a powerful thing.  And taking breaks from things we love is okay too.  I always find that taking time to properly rest and heal is not only good for my body, but good from my spirit and mind.  

In down time, I'm often quite creative, reflective, and prolific in planning and learning.

Heck, I learned biological statistics these past four months.  

I'm deep in Masters of Science program, and that cozy little chair has seen a lot of late night study sessions, while I healed from injury.

AND:  Dear running, I'm not letting you go that easy.  Not a chance.  I'm hanging in there.  I'm bringing flowers and candy (vegan of course) and a plan to run:

 not 100, not 1000, but over 2,000 miles this summer on the Appalachian Trail.  

Yes, running, I like you just that much.  

Spring Cleaning

This Spring has arrived with a mixture of bright blooms of good news and joy, along with cloudy patches of disappointment, rejection and storms of stress, deadlines and uncertainty.

Such is Springtime.  

A time of transition and growth; sometimes bleak and gray, sometimes stunningly sunny, and always filled with hope and anticipation of summer abundance.

In staying true to the season, I have been working hard at "planting seeds" for the future.

I'm applying for internships and fellowships for the summer and grants for next year's graduate studies research. (Thus the good news and rejection phase).  I am also in the building phase of my training for my first 100 miler in August.

I'm pretty excited!

The path to preparing my body for August 2nd, along with preparing my mind for my research and degree feels long and sometimes daunting.  And yet, despite frustrations and obstacles, I am determined and persistent.

 I have faith that the hard work I am putting in will reap tremendous rewards.

Sometimes in my commitment to the environment and conservation: 

eating a plant based- low waste diet, 

using less resources, 

studying hard to achieve a dream of a job preserving our plant life

-- sometimes, I feel like I'm taking two steps forward and one step back.

Driving more, junk food indulgences, grant applications rejected, internship opportunities turned down, a poor mark on an exam; the thing to realize is that these are simply hiccups, simply obstacles.  

Lessons never stop; whether we learn from them or not is another thing.

So, I'm tripping, falling over, getting up and moving along.  I've hired a nutritionist to put me back on track with whole food nutrition on a busy schedule; I'm applying to yet MORE internships and grants; I'm dedicating more concentrated time to studying... 

and last but not least I'm running my tail off!

Moving On

Again, it has been what feels like an eternity since I posted.  I have two words for the reason why:

GRADUATE SCHOOL

Here's a green smoothie to keep me going during a study session.

This past fall flew by like a whirlwind, and just like a whirlwind, my head was spinning and focus on running and health took a backseat to classes, papers and deadlines.

Here I am on a rare occasion of getting out on the trails for a run!

The entire fall, I attempted to put my health and mental sanity first by continuing with heavy training and speed work.  This succeeded for the first few weeks or so.

I was fortunate enough to get a coach, Kawika Carlson, to help me stay on track, but the semester simply proved too busy and stressful for me to continue to meet with him.

My running buddy, Robin and I at the start and finish of the XTERRA half; if it weren't for her motivation, I could not have done it!

I did manage to stay on track enough to run a solid 50k to celebrate my 32nd birthday, the tough XTerra trail championship 1/2 marathon, and the Honolulu Marathon in December.

Running up, up and more up at Peacock 50K on the North Shore.  

Celebrating after the Honolulu marathon with athletic mentors Ellis and Jerry

This semester, I've moved apartments to more relaxed and rejuvenating surroundings, cut back on my class load and have hope that I can train effectively once more; reaching running goals along with academic goals.

Halfway through a recent training run along with my pup Reba and good friend.  I've moved about 15 minutes away from this slice of heaven!

I have signed up for my first 100 miler in August, and plan to focus my efforts for the next seven months on training effectively and injury free along with having a successful semester.  I have started training runs, and am also struggling with motivation and a recent tendency to be extremely lazy with school pressures (i.e. hours of the West Wing, chocolate and total zone out)

Is it possible to be both active and in school?  I am hoping that my dedication to health and plant based wellness helps. 

All I want for Christmas is this much broccoli

 I do get the sense that if I could survive my first semester back in grad school, ANYTHING is possible!  

Running on plants and love

This weekend and past week were a bit of whirlwind of schoolwork, class time and starting a new massage apprenticeship.  Where would I find the time to run and prioritize my health?

Fortunately, I've created some wonderful new routines and am adapting to my new environment.  For instance, I managed to make awesome connections this past month in the running community; finding a running partner, even getting a coach and joining in run clubs.  THANK G-D! 

Running an informal 12 mile race last weekend on the Makiki trails.  

Just getting out there lifts the burdens of school right off my mind.

Because of this community, I am accountable to others, find support in their company and kindness, and can continue to nurture my body and my mind.

Having running partners is the BEST!

You can support each other even when you are tuckered out!

Honestly, school work is exhausting!!  If it was entirely up to me right now, I think I would just crash each day after classes and studying; sit my sore butt down with a bowl of pretzels and a beer and ZONE OUT.  

Not that I haven't done that recently (in fact, I just did last night!!), but I'm prioritizing getting healthy food and a running routine that I desperately need FIRST.  I'm still making time to make delicious plant based food; in fact, I just started kombucha and continue to sprout mung beans.

My point tonight though, is that without the support and love of others this wouldn't be POSSIBLE.  It seems that achieving goals, applying yourself in a balanced way is fueled by much more than healthy food and movement; we must have each other.

Some good training friends and I, after a long ride on the Kona coast last spring.

A Whole New Kind of Marathon

It has been a terribly long time since I posted, and I realized I left a bit of a cliff-hanger as far as my journey on the Appalachian Trail goes.  

Internet connection was difficult on the route, and although I took a plethora of photos, the logistics of posting blog entry's on my iphone proved too tedious for my tired mind. 

However, my trip ended in July, so I have no excuse for taking so long to post.

But here's my excuse anyway:  I started graduate school.  Which is hard.  

Green Smoothies are power foods for studying AND running, turns out!!

In fact, I would say that grad school is arguably the hardest thing I have ever undertaken, and is likely  the most painful as well.  And that is coming from someone who regularly runs/ hikes crazy miles in crazy heat and got so sick after my 50 miler in the Copper Canyons, that I lost 5 lbs. puking my guts out for three days after.  Sorry for the gruesome details... I just thought I'd give perspective.

Here I am on the AT trying to document the crazy humid heat I was experiencing on a climb up 4,000 feet.

Of course, this makes it sound like grad school is some form of torture, and that naturally I don't enjoy it.  That is absolutely not true.  I am studying Conservation Botany, and I LOVE PLANTS.  I love being around them, cooking them, growing them, identifying them.  They are healing, delicious, beautiful and fascinating!

Starting graduate school is painful.  

It has been 8 long years since I did my undergraduate work, so I'm pretty out of practice.  Caring friends remind me that our brains are like any muscle; they need to be exercised in order to stay in shape... needless to say, my brain has been a total couch potato in terms of academia.

I also tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed, especially when I'm going for a goal that I care deeply about.  All I see is the challenge ahead, which is good for focus, but it also means that sometimes I push myself past what is healthy; I get sick or injured, or burn out.  I am so focused on my goals, I put myself in a stress mode as if I'm running a race and forget to rest or take care of myself!!

The brain responds to stress, whether physical or emotional or mental in the same way; your sympathetic nervous system kicks in (a.k.a. fight or flight response), your heartbeat quickens, your digestion slows, and stress hormones deplete your immune function.  A lot of these things are good if you are running a quick race, or under a deadline, or in an accident.  Your reflexes and senses are sharpened, and other bodily functions don't get in the way.

What we need to remember is that stress is okay, it's natural, but in our achievement driven world we are often in fight or flight ALL THE TIME!  We must allow our body to rest and restore, to allow the parasympathetic nervous system to kick in and build our immunity back up, get our digestion flowing again, and our cells to rebuild.  Just writing about rest and relaxation makes me feel calmer.  

Ha ha... Maybe NOT the best way to reduce stress...

As a distance runner, I know this; allowing your body to relax during a long run provides essential on-the-go restorative powers.

Here I am feeling blissed out during a break on the AT.

I want to be instantly good at school, and tackle the challenges, but my brain needs build up strength, just as my legs are building up strength again after being so sick this summer with pneumonia.  So, I'm starting to meditate and prioritize my rest time.  My program is so exciting; I am so challenged and engaged, and already feeling the rewards of time spent in the library or at coffee shops studying.  

And so, as it's time to rest now, I'll leave you with this moment of zen brought to you by the Appalachian Trail.