What Happens in Vegas

Okay, I'll admit it.  I didn't want to talk about my last marathon on December 2nd, the Zappos Rock n' Roll Marathon.  But the truth is like salve to a wound and I am ready to tell my story.

Running is a journey, and in every journey there are high points and low points.

Typically, I end the journey with a huge smile on my face; knowing that I am doing something I love, thinking back on where I have come from and what lies ahead.

This time, I finished with tears in my eyes and pain on my face as I crossed the finish line.

The real pain, besides physical (I became very dehydrated and cramped up for the final 8 miles), was mental.  Starting off, and for the first 13 miles, I was having the strongest race of my career.  Smiling and throwing the Shaka, I thought back through all the training and hard work of the Big Island Run.  I was in excellent shape.

However, high wind conditions and dehydration forced me to slow my pace, and mental state changed as day turned to night.

As I said, the real pain of my final miles was mental, as I watched my Boston QT slip past and realized more importantly that I was not having fun.  "Why," I thought, "am I doing this if it's not fun?"  I nearly dropped out.

I have a goal at each marathon to finish with a smile on my face, and I just didn't feel happy.  I felt tired and achy and ready to go back to the hotel and cry... Not the Vegas finish I was expecting.

Not ready to quit, however, I dug deep and journeyed on.  And I am glad I did.  I crossed just two minutes behind my PR, yes.  I cried, yes.  I called my mom, yes.  And, I also ran stronger than my previous 5 marathons; and... well... I finished.  And I'm glad I did.  

What I want to drive home in the telling of the story, is not "push, push, push; pain is nothing."

Pain is an indicator that something is going wrong.  Our body is hurting.

What I would like to drive home is this:  Sometimes we push past pain simply to get to the other side.  Simply to finish the journey; even if we don't have a smile on our face.  Smiles or tears, the journey is ours to create.
  

And I don't regret finishing.

At the lowest point for me on the Big Island Run, someone said to me, "If it isn't fun, stop doing it."  And suddenly, I was considering quitting.  But, I didn't quit.  I journeyed on (the theme of this year's marathon), and I am so extremely thankful that I did.

In this same way, running has become a continuous journey and an integral part of life for me.

I'm okay with sometimes fighting through pain; I'm okay with ending marathons with tears.  Because as with life, things are not always good or bad, black or white.  There are gray areas.

In true Vegas style, I experienced it all the fuzzy places; pain, pleasure, joy and despair... oh, and then after, gluttony!